Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,  I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

-- Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.  There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."

-- John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

-- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

-- Al Gore, Vice President

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"

-- George Bush, US President

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."

-- George Bush, US President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

-- Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."

-- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

-- Bill Clinton, President

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

-- Al Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

-- Keppel Enderbery

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."

-- Dan Quayle, VP

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

-- Dan Quayle, VP

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago."

-- Dan Quayle, VP

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

-- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that  Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."

-- Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper